happy moments like this! :D thanks maui for cheering me up all the time! :D BIG HUG!!!
So after weeks of trying to hold it in, I’m finally breaking my silence. (DRAMATIC EFFECT!!!) I’m not going to speak on behalf of the group; what I’m about to tell you, it’s only MY side. Only I am held liable for everything I’m about to say. Okay, here we go.
I was actually really happy that we got a lot closer this year. I know the common ground we found isn’t exactly the best, but I guess the fact that it let us know each other more makes up for that. You know what, I would always try defending you whenever they’d talk badly about this common ground of ours. I wasn’t doing it for my sake (we’ve already kind of gotten past that) but because I thought behind everything, the old you that we loved was still there. I did it because I thought I still knew you and I thought you were still our friend. I don’t know why you never had it in you to tell me about you and him. I thought that after everything we had gone through I would at least get the privilege to know that kind of thing about you, kind of like how I tell you about relevant events in my life. The fact that you hid that from me shows so much about how little you trust me, and consequently, how little I can trust you. If you told me from the very beginning, i probably wouldn’t be as angry. I mean, what you did was still disgusting. I’m sorry if that’s being harsh but I honestly have no better adjective. I know my reaction’s a bit exaggerated seeing as to how it wasn’t directly done to me, but you did it to one of my best friends. You mess with one, you mess with all. You knew that. After all, you were part of that pact.
I’m just so disappointed because I know you’re better than this. Wait, scratch that. You USED TO BE better than this. What the hell happened to you? The whole vices thing, I could totally live with that. But now it has already gone to the point where you’re hurting the friends that have been there for you thru thick and thin. Normally I would want to work things out; preserve the friendship, after all it’s worth it. But you ruined that. You knew how much Ash loved him, you were there to comfort her when they broke up, you knew how much it would hurt for her to see him be with another girl. You knew those all along but you made no hesitations to go for him. I know you’re not that stupid and dense not to notice where it was leading. You could’ve stopped it then. BUT YOU DID NOT. And I can’t believe you’d sacrifice so much just to see him, and not ONCE have you ever given any effort to hang out with us. You’d always have some excuse to bail. It just seems like he, this bastard you met because of Ash, and the fuckhole who broke our best friend’s heart, means more to you than us. And because of that, I don’t think your friendship is worth fighting for.
I wish I didn’t hate your guts so much because I do miss you, but if you think about it, you did all this to yourself
But then you realize that nothing’s gunna stay the same and then you’ll start praying everyday that even the love you have for that person won’t change as well…
F. : I just realized that despite everything, i wouldn’t trade what we had for anything.
SHITSHITSHITSHIT! :(((((( =((
